As a survivor of abuse, a young person will spend much mental energy on the external sources of abuse. This is because those external sources have been a threat to one’s existence, AND because as children, our lives are dictated by powers outside of ourselves- later as adults whose development was stalled by trauma, that is still our primary system.
Given past threats and limitations to power, this approach may have made perfect sense. But it becomes more and more inefficient as we age because with the self autonomy of adulthood comes power and self responsibility.
When we focus on recovering from abuse we may experience a fixation on people and situations outside of our control. Eventually though, if we seek to move beyond recovery into wellness, we may come into conflict with this entire mode of problem solving- at this time we may feel simultaneously “better” but frustrated at the world, we may feel “over it” or discouraged by a lack of progress as our once useful safety-oriented program fails to produce results. Why is this?
This is because we are approaching the threshold of spiritual/internal maturation. In order to cross it, we must surrender the tools of our past so that we can be the whole, healed self that no longer needs them. In order to do this, we begin to take responsibility for our experience into our hands- literally our minds- and stop giving our power up to people and situations outside of us.
Any medicine can eventually become poison at the wrong duration or dosage. The things we rightfully used to recover can hold us back later. At some point, it is amazingly empowering- though immensely challenging- to let go of your past and create your future.
But this is how you stop seeing yourself as a victim and become a sublime creator.
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